Aspiration

Some of the most scariest, heart-pounding times in my life have been during night driving— specifically, being a front-seat passenger while someone else drove:  my dad when I was younger, and my husband later.

It was not because they were bad drivers. Both are experienced and sensible drivers. But it was because of the setting.  

When I was younger, my dad and I did some backpacking in the Sierras on weekends.  After work on Fridays, Dad and I would drive the final hours to the backcountry trailheads on curvy, unlit mountain highways bordered with tall pines which blocked the moonlight.  My terror peaked as Dad would sharply turn at every tight corner that seemed to me to come out of nowhere.  I would eventually shriek.  Dad would calmly remind me to trust him.  Ultimately, through experience, I began to tightly close my eyes and quietly wait for him to get us to our destination.  I would just try to forget the dangers, real and imagined, that were causing me such panic.  I did not know the Lord.

Later in marriage, the same fears returned as our family would occasionally have to drive late at night through two lane rural highways in Mexico.   Again, the stars and moon were often shrouded in thick clouds, and the steep shoulder of the unlit highway was often not visible.   A solid white line reminded us of where the road suddenly dropped off into fields of sorghum marked off by occasional concrete power poles or off a mountain cliff.  If a semi approached from the opposite direction, the only way to navigate our vehicle in the face of the blinding oncoming headlights was to stare persistently down at that white line and navigate by it, trusting that the truck driver would not accidentally cross the center line into our lane.

Older and wiser, I realized I could not trust my own vision, as I was not in the optimum viewing location, and I had distracting glare from my glasses.  I was also prone to get overly emotional about things like lack of visibility so that I did not take advantage of the things that were visible. 

And finally, I knew that no amount of safe driving could protect our vehicle from a dozing driver in an oncoming truck or unanticipated cattle or other obstacles in the road.  

I realized that being panicky was not going to contribute to my husband’s concentration and ability to take in all the visible clues available in the yards ahead of us.  So my quest became this:  to be the best support I could be to my husband in this challenging situation.  So, I tried (often imperfectly, I might add) to put my trust in God to keep us safe, and I prayed for my husband to have wisdom, safety and good vision.  Sometimes I closed my eyes, refusing to let fear distract me from prayer.  But as the Lord helped me, I sometimes even kept my eyes open.

Her love was like an island

In life's ocean vast and wide

A peaceful, quiet shelter

From the wind and rain and tide

'Twas bound on the north by Hope

By Patience on the west

By tender Counsel on the south

And on the east by Rest

Above it, like a beacon light,

Shone faith and truth and prayer

And through the changing scenes of life

I found a haven there

-- Samuel Zwemer, 1936

on the homegoing of his wife of 40 years, Amy

These words have been such an aspiration for me.  I don’t know much about Amy Zwemer, the wife of a missionary to the Muslims, but her effect on her husband seemed to demonstrate she was a woman who could offer her husband encouragement and peace in life’s dangers and challenges because of her trust in God.  I desire to trust God like that.

Psalms 118:8

It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.

1 Peter 3:5-6

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

The solution to our fears is always trusting in the Lord.  And the evidence of that is going to be peacefulness in scary times.  

Philippians 4:6-7

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Peace that “passeth all understanding” does so because it defies human explanation.  That is God’s will for all his children.  Acting out of our trust in God demonstrates spiritual growth much more than biblical “head knowledge”. And for us as wives, acting out of this trust in God makes us the best help to our husbands.  

Our husbands are going to have imperfections and blind spots, as we all do.  They will be in difficult situations that require much wisdom from God.  Often the Lord uses wives to be a helper in these times.  But to truly be a helper, we must put off fear and put off trust in man (including ourselves) and truly look to the Lord.  

If we truly desire to do our husband good, if we truly want him to respond to the Lord’s direction, if we desire not to distract him with our fears and “what ifs”, we need to put our faith in God. 

The fruit of that trust in God will be to not be not afraid with any amazement.  

Philippians 3:13-14

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.