Reasons a wife may usurp leadership from her husband

We are looking at the faulty thoughts that can lead us into actions which usurp leadership from our husbands. Our actions and deeds and words (the ways in which we may usurp) come from our thoughts, so this is where the battle lies.

A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. Luke 6:45

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2 Corinthians 10:5

Often, restraining our words when they are not something the LORD would have us say is a big help, but it may not rid us of the thoughts, and so we can still be in danger in this area. And also, we need wisdom to know when our input could actually be a blessing. But our thoughts, of us being right and knowing better, of something bad happening unless we intervene, can have great power over us. We need to think correctly, no matter what is our perception of the situation. This is why we are told:

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 6:4-8

I am convinced that no correct word or action of mine is going to spring from panic, worry, fear, fretting, feeling that its all up to me. Those are not signs that I am being led of the Spirit of God. My words and deeds should instead be led of the Spirit. When I am truly relying on the Lord and trusting him and knowing that its not all up to me to run things, I experience peace and don't react impulsively.

Like a river glorious, is God’s perfect peace,
Over all victorious, in its bright increase;
Perfect, yet it floweth, fuller every day,
Perfect, yet it groweth, deeper all the way.

Refrain

Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest
Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.

Hidden in the hollow of His blessed hand,
Never foe can follow, never traitor stand;
Not a surge of worry, not a shade of care,
Not a blast of hurry touch the spirit there.

Refrain

Every joy or trial falleth from above,
Traced upon our dial by the Sun of Love;
We may trust Him fully all for us to do.
They who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true.

We are looking at three women in the Bible who had instances of actions that were produced by wrong thinking. The results were catastrophic. We look at them and think, "I could never have done that!" However, I find that it isn't too difficult to make the same error, in type, if not by degree. And the consequences of my words and deeds can be pretty far reaching (we will look at that later.) God does judge our hearts, so I wonder if he doesn't see wrong thinking as more serious as I might (Matthew 5:22, 28)?

What was the reason/thinking behind these Bible time women usurping their husband's authority? We want to learn from them. We are asking, "In what ways can I be like this woman?"


Reason 1: Impatience (Sarah)

Please read Genesis 12:1-8, Genesis 13:14-16, Genesis 15:1-5, and Genesis 16:1-4

This story probably produces one of the biggest "Ug" responses. We think, "Never in a million years!" Speculating the different thoughts of Sarah, Abraham, Hagar, etc. don't really get us anywhere productive. We have the story of what happened. In what ways can I be like Sarah?

1. Sarah redefined the promise. It no longer required God's intervention for her to have a son. She was impatient, and this would do. When I become impatient and decide to jump ahead and take action in matters over which I am not in authority, I no longer am waiting on the Lord to fulfill. his promises.
   
2. Sarah got to the point where she preferred the end result (a son) over the miraculous process (waiting until she was good and old!) which God had already planned. When I am more concerned about achieving a certain goal, rather than all that God may want to do, perhaps in developing Christ-like character in me, I may miss out on all that God may want to do along the way.
   
3. Sarah had lost the hope of God's work in her life. She came up with a plan involving Hagar, which was not miraculous at all. If I lose my hope in God and forget that nothing is impossible with him, I am tempted to look elsewhere and take matters into my own hands, as if God didn't even exist.
   
4. We see the danger of a wife's wrong thoughts. Proverbs 31:11-12 tells us of the virtuous woman: The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11-12 Though in many ways a godly example to us, we see in this incident, Sarah was not living up to her calling. How vital it is that our words and deeds are led of the Lord, because we do exert an influence over our dear husbands. May it be the result of God's perfect peace, as we pray for our husbands and recognize God is in control.

This story isn't the last word on Sarah; elsewhere in scripture, she is commended. However, in this instance, we can learn some valuable lessons on the danger of wrong thinking.

Reason 2: Thinking she heard from God (Rebekah)

Please read Genesis 25:20-23, Genesis 27:1-17 (I hate to leave anything out, so its best to read everything between too!)

One sister pointed out that this may be the first time in the scripture where its recorded a woman calling on the Lord.

A couple of important things we read are:

And the LORD said unto her, Two nations [are] in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and [the one] people shall be stronger than [the other] people; and the elder shall serve the younger. Genesis 25:23

And he said, Behold now, I am old, I know not the day of my death: Genesis 27:2

And his mother said unto him, Upon me [be] thy curse, my son: only obey my voice, and go fetch me [them]. Genesis 27:13

This is another story which makes us cringe. It seems so obvious that Rebekah's deception is wrong. But, this deception was her noble attempt to ensure God's plan would be carried out, as she remembered the Lord's promise to her regarding Jacob. Does that sound right?

What is really interesting about this story is Isaac's words in Genesis 27:13 -- "I know not the day of my death". When you read the rest of this story, you realize Isaac didn't die for another eighty years! Could God have had a better plan than Rebekah? Was it really a case of now or never?

I have asked several friends, "Was there ever a time when you saw a situation regarding your husband and felt you just had to do or say something, or all would be lost, even though you knew it was out of your place...and you did it...and it totally backfired and you were wrong?" The universal answer is YES! This kind of thinking in my marriage just isn't going to lead me to the right words or deeds. I must take it captive!

Some observations:

1. Rebekah was convinced that Isaac would mess things up by giving Esau the blessing, so she came up with a plan to prevent that. She knew from God that he intended for the older to serve the younger, but Isaac didn't seem to be cooperating. For me, knowing (or thinking I know) God's will for my family does not supersede my calling to submit to my husband (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33). "Grabbing the spiritual steering wheel" from my husband is not God's way for me to influence him; but God has provided a way (1 Peter 3:1, 2). I liked Sharon's description of "Going ahead of God," for when we try to do this, that is really what we are trying to do!
   
2. When we think about the fact that Isaac didn't die until 80 years after this story, we realize it is possible for us to be wrong wrong wrong about the urgency of a situation, thinking "I have to do something!" What could have God done in 80 years? Again, we need to be meditating on him and his Word, so his peace rules our minds, and therefore, our words and deeds!
   
3. We see Rebekah going ahead with her deceitful plans, which would ensure Jacob had the blessing. There is no knowledge or approval or involvement from her husband. It's actually kind of adversarial. This is the way it will be for me if I sidestep my husband in pursuing God's will. The whole pursuit of going around our husbands is so contrary to God's plan for marriage, but our wrong thoughts can deceive us. We need to be warned; the same could happen to us.
4. Another sad part of this story is the influence Rebekah had on her son Jacob. As mothers, one of our most important roles is modeling to our children how a godly wife and mother should think and behave. It is by watching us daily, rather than attending a few sessions of pre-marital counseling, that they will learn the most, whether they grow up to be a wife and mom, or grow up to seek a wife! Proverbs 1:8 - 9 says "My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck." Realizing we have an audience in our children should be a powerful reminder to us to be obedient in this area!

This coming week, we will be discussing what we can learn from Eve. If you have time, please read Genesis 2 and 3, and 1 Timothy 2:11-15. Maybe you can find other scriptures that are helpful as we discuss Eve. God bless you!