More reasons a wife may usurp leadership from her husband

Last week we had a good discussion regarding the lessons we can learn from the example of Eve. Again, when we say "reasons a wife may usurp" we really mean, the thoughts that lead to usurping.

Reason 3: Just wanting to help (Eve)

According to 1 Timothy 2:14, Eve had been deceived. Her thoughts were not to deceive, but she had been deceived. What were her thoughts? When we read the account of the deception in Genesis 3:6, we have a good understanding of her thoughts.

And when the woman saw that the tree [was] good for food, and that it [was] pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make [one] wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

Here we see one of the greatest enticements for us to usurp leadership from our husbands: wanting to help. Wanting to improve things for our husband. In Eve's case, she "took a bite first", that is, made the decision, then tried to sell her husband on it.

Here is a danger common to many of us, especially those whose families homeschool or want to homeschool. We come to our husband fully convinced already regarding a decision, and then try to sell them on it after we have decided. We leave off asking the Lord to give our husband discernment and wisdom to make the right decision, and we go straight to convincing him of our decision. Perhaps in some cases, ours is the right decision, and there is no apparent harm done (unlike Eve's decision). However, the true harm is the lack of respect we have given to our husband, and we will reap what we have sown.

Eve was created to be a helpmeet, and she wanted to help. As christian wives, we want to help. What is our guide to prevent our overstepping the boundary of helping and getting into usurping?

Again, 1 Timothy 2 gives us a very important warning:

Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

Eve's example is that of one who was deceived. What would have "saved" (or prevented) her from deception? In the verses above, if we look at the word "saved" as being "preserved", it seems a good instruction to us as wives to concern ourselves more with our own calling as helpmeets, guiding the home, being concerned with godly living in our own area of authority. It is then, when we are doing the things to which God has called us primarily, that we are saved from deception, even in the name of "helping" our husbands.

In Proverbs 31, we see an example of a helpmeet, and an idea of the scope of her influence. Of course, the description may not be one which represents a young mom who just has little children, but it does kind of show that there is quite a bit that could be considered within the realm of the wife's authority. Reading this gives us an idea of the outworking of one who seeks to "continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety."

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

¹²She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

¹³She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

¹⁴She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

¹⁵She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

¹⁶She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

¹⁷She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

¹⁸She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

¹⁹She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

²⁰She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

²¹She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

²²She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

²³Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

²⁴She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

²⁵Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

²⁶She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

²⁷She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

²⁸Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

²⁹Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

³⁰Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

³¹Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

For our next meeting, which is looking like November 5 or 12, we will trying to understand reverence and respect, as we read in Ephesians 5:33. In our culture, these words appear to have come from Mars! We need God's Word to really understand what they mean and how they apply to us. Additionally, we want to see how reverence and respect can help in preventing us from thoughts that lead to usurping our husband's authority.