Time and a tangent

Yesterday we started by returning to the time issue. We were given another reminder about the importance of giving thanks in this passage which was suggested by a friend of mine as a "to do list" for moms...

Now we exhort you, brethren,
warn them that are unruly,
comfort the feebleminded,
support the weak,
be patient toward all men.
See that none render evil for evil unto any man;
but ever follow that which is good,
both among yourselves, and to all men.
Rejoice evermore.
Pray without ceasing.
In every thing give thanks:
for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.


1 Thessalonians 5:14-18

In discussing our use of time, I contributed some of what our family has been learning about the value of making a schedule. Since our time is a limited resource, as money, and since most people wisely see the need to budget their money (with the understanding that unexpected needs and/or shortfalls often come up), budgeting our time -- such as with a schedule -- seems to not be too much of a stretch. As christians, our options are somewhat limited as to what we should spend our time on. By pre-thinking (and praying), we can narrow down our to do list and be somewhat more likely to hit our priorities more consistently.

The tangent

The tangent arose from the question of what to do if a family member's lack of coordination messed up our desired schedule. This was soon broadened to the issue of how to deal with any one, family or not, who was causing us grief due to their lack of following God's will in their life.

So here is the scenario: someone is in our life, a child, spouse, inlaw, neighbor, etc. We are having "issues" (as they say) with this person, and this person is clearly in the wrong. Now, this could be in regard to our desire to follow a schedule for using our time in a way that would please the Lord. This is often the case in dealing with persistent obedience problems with a child (we find ourselves behind on other things because we keep getting interrupted), but can also happen with other significant people in our lives.

We basically have two routes we can take.

The first is the spiritual route; we recognize the person's need for God's work in their life, and we pray for them and purpose to do what we are able to do to encourage, teach, exhort, and love. I guess even before that, we need to recognize that God orchestrates our lives and the things he brings into our daily lives are for our good.

The second route, often the knee-jerk reflex unfortunately, is the non-spiritual route. We feel inconvenienced, impatient, or maybe even under attack. We feel irked that the person is in some way working against God's plan for our day....or maybe just irked that we have to put up with this again, or think things never improve, or whatever. Irked is the operative word here. That and feeling.

Now, taking the spiritual route is obviously the best, but it sometimes takes training. We often do learn through experience (the "hard way"), through trying our own ideas first and having them fail miserably. Here is where I might say things like, "Well, someone has to do/say something." I am realizing that when I say or think things like that, it is not a sign that I am led of the Lord! My husband has termed the phrase "christian atheists", meaning we say we believe in God, but we behave like we don't believe he will actually work in our lives.

So, the question is, "Well, what do I do?" How do I deal with a person who seems to be throwing a wrench into what I feel is God's will?

It seems to be a matter of attitude.

When Paul wrote to encourage the Philippians to follow through with contributing to the needs of the saints, he could have stressed out that the monetary need was met. He could have pled with them and explained in detail the great need. But his attitude or motivation was clear...

"Not because I desire a gift:
but I desire fruit that may abound to your account."

Philippians 4:17

In other words, Paul wanted to see them growing in the Lord and in good works, not just playing a part in what he saw was God's will. (And he did see it as God's will for them to give!) He realized that for them to join in, in a way that would glorify the Lord, it had to be the fruit of the Holy Spirit in their lives.

How often I aim for or settle for compliance from my children, which is important and necessary, but fail to realize what I really want is the LORD to work in their hearts to bring it about. As a mom, I do need to discipline and supervise, but really, it should all be pointing my children to the Lord. I need to disciple. And in other relationships too, I want to be pointing others to the Lord, not just pointing them to things which I feel will accommodate my needs the best.

Paul writes to the Corinthians also with this same purpose of encouragement:

"For the love of Christ constraineth us;
because we thus judge,
that if one died for all, then were all dead:
and that he died for all,
that they which live should not live for themselves,
but unto him which died for them and rose again.
Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh..."

2 Corinthians 5:14 - 16a

Paul is one who experienced being let down by those in Christ and out, and he certainly applied discipline when called for. But, he also recognized that there was a correct response to those who do not seem to be following the Lord, or who do not even know the Lord.

It makes sense that if we first have the correct motivation, and realize the place God has put us in, then he will give us wisdom to know the proper response to those in our lives who seem to be thwarting God's will for us.

"Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you?
let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.

But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts,
glory not, and lie not against the truth.

This wisdom descendeth not from above,
but is earthly, sensual, devilish.

For where envying and strife is,
there is confusion and every evil work.

But the wisdom that is from above is first
pure,
then peaceable,
gentle,
and easy to be intreated,
full of mercy and good fruits,
without partiality,
and without hypocrisy.

And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace
of them that make peace."




James 3:13-18



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